I Have Moved to a Beta Site.

With 250 posts having passed this way, I thought it might be interesting to try the new Beta Blog. It is One Man's View From Lansing, KS.

I guarantee that the quality of my postings will remain the same, mediocre at best. Although they will not be completely worthless.

It will be an interesting learning experience.

So, give it a try, and leave suggestions. Other than that not much else has changed. When it does the information will be at the aforementioned locale.

#250.1

Insults with class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." -- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." -- Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." -- Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." -- Winston Churchill, in response

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." -- Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." -- Jack E. Leonard

"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." -- Robert Redford

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." -- Thomas Brackett Reed

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." -- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." -- Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." -- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -- Billy Wilder


#250

Corporate Ingenuity in America?

A Japanese company ( Toyota ) and an American company (General Motors) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River. Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese team won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.

A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 8 people steering and 1 person rowing.

So American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

To prevent another loss to the Japanese, the American's rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 3 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 1 person rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder.

It was called the "Rowing Team Quality First Program," with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rower

There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices, and bonuses.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid off the rower for poor performance, halted development of a new canoe, sold the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment.

The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses and the next year's racing team was outsourced to India .

Author: Unknown


#249

Referral to another post...

David Brin has an important posting that is too long to copy here.

Please check it out, if you are so inclined. He has some very interesting things to say.


#248

A Poem about life

On October 19, 2006 at 1:59am -0700, NORMA COOPER wrote:

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Tampa, Florida, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Missouri. The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this "anonymous" poem winging across the Internet:

BOY DOES THIS POEM TELL IT LIKE IT IS! FOR I AM GETTING THERE FAST!

Crabby Old Man

What do you see, nurses. What do you see?
What are you thinking..??....... When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man .........???.. Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, ...???....... With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food. And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice, .. "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice .......... The things that you do,
And forever is losing ............?.. A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not, ........?..... Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, ??... The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? ?... Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse,?....You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am .....??........ As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, ...??.... As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten . With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters ...........??. Who love one another.

A young boy of sixteen .......?.....With wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now. ?.........A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at twenty ............. My heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows. That I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now, ...........??... I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide ...??.... And a secure happy home.
A man of thirty, .......???........ My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .....??...... With ties that should last.

At forty, my young sons ..??.... Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me. To see I don't mourn
At fifty once more, .......??....... Babies play 'round my knee,
Again we know children, .?....... My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, ...?...... My wife is dead,
I look at the future, ....???....... I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing. Young of their own ,
And I think of the years???.... And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man.......??....... And nature is cruel;
Tis jest to make old age .....?......Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, .......?..... Grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone. Where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass ..??.. A young guy still dwells,
And now and again, ...??..........My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, ................... I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living.....?...... Life over again.

I think of the years ....??........... All too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact. That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people, ........ Open and see,
Not a crabby old man; ???...... Look closer.... see, ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all, one day, be there, too!



#247