As I read Alison's blog today I remembered my own admonitions to my daughters about hating things. Much like Alison’s mum, I too, did not want my children so caught up in negativity. I still don’t. However, I do agree with Alison about a number of the things with which she finds fault. The one that caught my attention and brought out an immediate negative response is this one:
I hate:
# Those who insist that there is every good in everything. I call it the 'Pollyanna' syndrome. These are the people who insist on the old adage of 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'. Well NO actually. The body, the mind, the soul and the spirit have only so much fight in it. Otherwise people would not turn to drugs, alcohol, suicide, mayhem through desparation. If only one or two 'bad' things happen to you I can see how you can learn from it. But when there are stories of folk going through one thing after another and feeling weaker, depleted and despair than they feel even worse because they are then judged to be 'less than'. Our indigenous population is a good example of this.
At first I got defensive. Then I thought more about it. I have written elsewhere about such a view of the world - In Everything There is a Blessing. That particular essay says what I want to say here. Suffice it to say that looking for the blessing in everything helps keep me grounded in a positive perspective. I disagree with Alison’s comment about: The body, the mind, the soul and the spirit have only so much fight in it (sic). The body is finite and changes over time. We can keep it in better shape by caring for it properly with proper diet, exercise and rest.
Where I tend to differ is the statement that the spirit has only so much fight. In my weird, wonderful, wacky world the spirit is infinite and therefore has all the energy it needs to persevere. When we get bogged down with the negative (don’t ignore the negative, just don’t let it overwhelm you) we lose the positive energy to make a difference in our world. The difference we make may seem “inconsequential”, but it provided succor to at least one individual. That is very profound to me.
So, while I may “hate, can’t abide, loathe, abhor,” and detest certain things that occur in my world, I do not want to give up my personal power to them. There are occasions where I give myself permission to feel down about a current situation, but I only give myself a very short period of time for that. I much prefer to maintain a positive outlook concerning all things. It is difficult sometimes to find the blessing in everything, but I believe it is there. I believe this approach to life keeps me healthier and certainly happier.
Thanks, Alison for spurring me on to put these thoughts in some order. I hope they are helpful to you.
4 comments:
Yes, thank you Jack. Your thoughts are always helpful..however.
Walking through Sydney on a bright day on any day you will see those laid low by life. I want to sweep them up and make it better. Their spirit has had enough. My mother had had enough when she said to me "No more". My father was ready when he said "If my mind goes so do I". There have been times when I have been near that place. Why am I still here? Love has sustained me, not optimism. However.. I understand you and believe you. I guess I am just seeing it from the 'down and out' point of view. I understand them, I appreciate them, I don't blame ,I empathise.
Keeping the body healthy too can be beyond your control. My brother-n-law has MS, my husband SLE and I have asthma.
Enough said.
Thank you Jack for your optimism and beliefs.
It is what each person does with what hardships that are handed to them in life. Some feel overwhelmed and turn to drugs, alcohol, suicide, and other means of self-destruction. Our bodies may give out but our spirits do not. It is when we choose to be positive about our lot in life that we grow in spirit and mind, and sometimes the hardships that we go through aren't for us to learn from.
Live fully....
Thanks for beating me to it sis! :)
People are given what they can handle. At times it may feel like "why me, why this, why, why why?!" BUT it's because you need that exact moment in your life, even if it's completely shitty. You need to either learn from it, or react and allow others to learn from your reactions.
Hate is a huge and horrible word. One people use all too often. Hate is something that should be reserved for the really horrible things in life...and with each example I think of I think of a reason for it and what needs to be taken from it...I hate that. LOL!
I just can't let the statement "people are given what they can handle". This is a lovely dream for some (Pollyannas)but the reality can be harsh and unbending. It is not fair to those who are overwhelmed by circumstances. I think it is bordering on disrespectful to use that comment to soothe the conscience of those who 'don't have it so bad'.
It is judgemental to believe some of us 'need' the 'shitty' things to 'teach' us. That is horrible!
I can't help it. It is just not a reasonable statement. It is in some instances downright cruel. Please don't say it to someone in dire circumstances. It could be the last straw!
BTW the things I said I hated HAVE been reserved for the really awful things. I was in no way being facetious!
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