With nothing better to do I uploaded photos to flikr. You can see the results of that activity on this page. I wasn't sure I could do it. I am so proud of myself.
I have included photos of the patio prior to the demolition and photos of the update.
I will add more photos as the job gets completed. The fence they sent was not the one we ordered. The good fence won't be delivered for another few weeks. Keep checking back for updates.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
A Hazel Story
bronxbt, this tale is for you primarily. I hope the rest of you enjoy it too.
Hazel has been with us for since she was a kitten. Consequently, we have many stories in which she is the star. As some of you may know I have a real estate license. Now you may think this is a strange way to begin a story about Hazel, and you are correct. Stay with me because it will be come clear before long.A few years ago we were back in Pennsylvania preparing to bring Maryann's mother to come back to Kansas to live with us. We did have one minor problem. Her home would be vacant, and she would not be returning to it. We had not decided to sell it yet. So the next obvious course of action was to rent it.
A builder friend was building a home for a family and they needed a place to rent before the house was completed. It had something to do with living in the school district. Their children, a boy and a girl, were 10 and 8 respectively.
One of the most important things a landlord can do when renting is to do a thorough background check. With the help of a local real estate agent we were able to get the financial information we needed to help us make our decision. Here is where Hazel comes into the picture. This was one of the few times we took Hazel with us.
When Maryann's niece's two boys are around, Hazel generally heads for the nearest bed to hide. Typical behaviors for most animals who don't like the noise and ruckus of active children.
The only thing remaining between us and the approval of the family was their visit to see the house. When they came over the children were quiet, polite and very courteous. No loud noises or ruckus. Hazel came out and wanted to get to know the children. Hazel even jumped up on the lap of their daughter. Hazel allowed the girl to brush her. Brushing is a pastime that Hazel enjoys very much. Hazel remained in the room the entire time the family was there.
We realized at that time, this family passed the Hazel test. What better recommendation can you get than the OK from Hazel. Based on that final test, we rented the house to this family and we did not regret it.
How is that for a pet story -b?
The rains are coming
The best laid plans of mice and men often go wrong. Bobbie Burns(sp) said it in a different language that eludes me for the senior moment.
Today I had fully intended to get a photo of me, my Tilley hat, but the weather has other ideas. We are expecting rain all this weekend. It will include thunder storms. So, I will just have to wait for a more opportune time.
Today I had fully intended to get a photo of me, my Tilley hat, but the weather has other ideas. We are expecting rain all this weekend. It will include thunder storms. So, I will just have to wait for a more opportune time.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
War Story #7
It was 1971, and I was assigned to the Provost Marshal’s office at MACV HQ, in Viet Nam. My duty title was Narcotics Staff Officer. At that time there was quite a problem with soldiers using heroin. But, that is another war story. It was during this time that I was introduced to one of my favorite convivial libations, the Black Russian.
The evening was quiet at the BOQ where I was living. I’m in my skivvies, reading mail and writing letters. There came a raucous knock at the door. To my surprise, it was one of my colleagues from the office. He had just returned from a get together at the Provost Marshal’s quarters and was about three sheets to the wind. He wanted to talk. He also wanted to go to the bar for another drink. I got dressed and away we went upstairs to the bar.
It was at this time when he asked if I had ever had a Black Russian? I had not, but was willing to try. He ordered the drinks complete with a twist and we sat down to talk. Well, he talked and I listened.
If you are not familiar with the drink let me explain the intricacies of preparing one.
Black Russian
2 parts Vodka 1 part Kahlua over ice.
I prefer a half and half mixture myself. Some even like it with a twist. Not me.
If you put milk or cream with it, it becomes a white Russian.
Now back to the main theme. My colleague was complaining about Army officers, particularly those who were Military Police. He was the Air Force equivalent. He was not too impressed with the Provost Marshal. He then decided to tell me about his problems with his children, his wife and his girl friend. In the meantime, I had consumed about a dozen Black Russians and was just getting a slight buzz. It was a good thing I didn’t have to drive anywhere.
It was about this time when he poured a part of his drink on my leg. I told him it was time to pour him into bed. We left the bar and that is the saga of how I discovered the joy of a convivial libation, the Black Russian.
Serve well! Live fully! Enjoy a Black Russian.
The evening was quiet at the BOQ where I was living. I’m in my skivvies, reading mail and writing letters. There came a raucous knock at the door. To my surprise, it was one of my colleagues from the office. He had just returned from a get together at the Provost Marshal’s quarters and was about three sheets to the wind. He wanted to talk. He also wanted to go to the bar for another drink. I got dressed and away we went upstairs to the bar.
It was at this time when he asked if I had ever had a Black Russian? I had not, but was willing to try. He ordered the drinks complete with a twist and we sat down to talk. Well, he talked and I listened.
If you are not familiar with the drink let me explain the intricacies of preparing one.
Black Russian
2 parts Vodka 1 part Kahlua over ice.
I prefer a half and half mixture myself. Some even like it with a twist. Not me.
If you put milk or cream with it, it becomes a white Russian.
Now back to the main theme. My colleague was complaining about Army officers, particularly those who were Military Police. He was the Air Force equivalent. He was not too impressed with the Provost Marshal. He then decided to tell me about his problems with his children, his wife and his girl friend. In the meantime, I had consumed about a dozen Black Russians and was just getting a slight buzz. It was a good thing I didn’t have to drive anywhere.
It was about this time when he poured a part of his drink on my leg. I told him it was time to pour him into bed. We left the bar and that is the saga of how I discovered the joy of a convivial libation, the Black Russian.
Serve well! Live fully! Enjoy a Black Russian.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
The Poor Man's Ferrari
Time to brag a little bit. The weather turned cool after the weekend's rains, but not too cool to take the top off. I have been wanting to post a photo of this primo, 1995 Honda Civic del sol for some time. Today is the day.
The temperature reached into the high 50's today so it was perfect to go for a little spin.
I agreed to help a friend get his printer working again. For some weird reason it wouldn't work. So I volunteered to screw around with it in hopes of getting it to print.
Mission accomplished. The operating system he uses is somewhat antiquated, but since he only uses the computer for occasional word processing he doesn't need any more than what he has.
What all this has to do with these photos is a mystery to me, too. I decided to take them as soon as I got back from my computer mission and here you are. I did dress warmly and wore my favorite Tilly Hemp hat.
Monday, April 24, 2006
The Garden Photos I promised
This view is to the right of our front door as you approach. We thought that come colias would be a nice plant to lead on to the impatiens. By the end of the year, they will take over the entire planting area.
This is to the right of the front door as you leave the house. We moved some bleeding hearts from the back yard last year and then added three more of that plant. The azaleas were moved last fall and they are doing fine. 
At the back left is a bleeding heart that we moved from the back yard and placed just left of the azaleas. The rock was also moved forward and a little to the left of its original position. The impatiens and sweet alyssum were added yesterday. Just behind the rock is an astilbe which we also moved from the back yard. There are also some hostas back near the front step just to the right of the hostas and behind the bleeding hearts.We can hardly wait for these plants to fill in the space with their growth. A couple of years ago we did win the yard of the month award from the Chamber of Commerce because of the beauty and color of the impatiens. I will probably post some photos later on in the year to show the growth.
Enjoy!
How Many Cows?
You can also read this at How Now Blue Cow?
A West Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" You're a Congressman for the U.S. government" says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows........
Now give me back my dog."
A West Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" You're a Congressman for the U.S. government" says the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows........
Now give me back my dog."
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Sunday Evening and the weather is wonderful
So it has been a few days since I last posted. I would like to say that I have been very busy doing things that will bring world peace, end hunger, and make life better for everyone. Alas, I cannot claim any of those lofty goals. Damn. I wish I could.
However , I have been doing things around the house that have been very productive and pleasurable. Maryann and I have been working on our garden plots - transplanting from the patio to the front of the house and getting new plants too. There is something therapeutic about planting flowers and shrubs. We have been very fortunate in previous plantings and transplantings. We did take out an evergreen because it was time. It had been around since we built the house 16 years ago and it was time to open up the view to the front of the house. So, out it went. Impatiens and Sweet Alyssum will look much better.
Bleeding hearts were moved from the patio to the front too. And they look marvelous. We were even able to save a few Hostas by moving them to the front. We did give some to our neighbors across the corner.
Perhaps I can take a few photos and include them in a future posting. Yes, that is a great idea. Now back to the Black Russian and thinking about what to have for dinner.
Ta, ta for now.
Share the love in your heart!
However , I have been doing things around the house that have been very productive and pleasurable. Maryann and I have been working on our garden plots - transplanting from the patio to the front of the house and getting new plants too. There is something therapeutic about planting flowers and shrubs. We have been very fortunate in previous plantings and transplantings. We did take out an evergreen because it was time. It had been around since we built the house 16 years ago and it was time to open up the view to the front of the house. So, out it went. Impatiens and Sweet Alyssum will look much better.
Bleeding hearts were moved from the patio to the front too. And they look marvelous. We were even able to save a few Hostas by moving them to the front. We did give some to our neighbors across the corner.
Perhaps I can take a few photos and include them in a future posting. Yes, that is a great idea. Now back to the Black Russian and thinking about what to have for dinner.
Ta, ta for now.
Share the love in your heart!
Thursday, April 20, 2006
PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON
Thanks to you, for being being part of my life, and teaching me day by day to be a better person either spiritually, emotionally, or professionally.
I am posting this to see how many will read and make a comment. Feel free to copy and paste it into an email to your friends.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
I am posting this to see how many will read and make a comment. Feel free to copy and paste it into an email to your friends.
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.
But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Your Outrageous Name
Sunday, April 16, 2006
It Came to Me in the Middle of the Night
The year -- 1952
The place -- John Harris High School, Harrisburg, PA
The event -- Tenth Grade history class.
I don't remember much about the class, not even the teachers name.
I do remember some things about her.
Thin. Dark hair kept close to the head. Arms kept close to her sides when she walked. She said that we should all do that. If we didn't we would all look like apes. I suspect she was not enamored of evolution.
There are two things I do remember from that teacher that made sense and I follow to this day.
1. People have the right to have their names spelled properly.
2. People have the right to have their names pronounced the way they want them pronounced.
When I was in basic training in the Air Force, one of my colleagues had the name of:
Spelling - Pryzkop
Traditional pronunciation - Schekup
The family pronunciation - Jacobs
It was always an interesting experience when we were on base detail waiting for our detail. We both had to pay close attention for the mispronunciation of Prizecop & Kitchenhopper.
Ah well, I have learned many things, some of them in 10th grade history class.
The place -- John Harris High School, Harrisburg, PA
The event -- Tenth Grade history class.
I don't remember much about the class, not even the teachers name.
I do remember some things about her.
Thin. Dark hair kept close to the head. Arms kept close to her sides when she walked. She said that we should all do that. If we didn't we would all look like apes. I suspect she was not enamored of evolution.
There are two things I do remember from that teacher that made sense and I follow to this day.
1. People have the right to have their names spelled properly.
2. People have the right to have their names pronounced the way they want them pronounced.
When I was in basic training in the Air Force, one of my colleagues had the name of:
Spelling - Pryzkop
Traditional pronunciation - Schekup
The family pronunciation - Jacobs
It was always an interesting experience when we were on base detail waiting for our detail. We both had to pay close attention for the mispronunciation of Prizecop & Kitchenhopper.
Ah well, I have learned many things, some of them in 10th grade history class.
Another voice on current politics
The Officer Corps Fights Back... is an excellent article. The author fully understands the need to support the troops and get some leadership back in the White House. Rather than me repeat the article check it out for yourself.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
A site to visit
Regardless of your feelings about the war in Iraq, you need to read about The Knucklehead of the Day Award It seems the "leadership" at Hilton Hotels is more concerned about potential liabilty which hasn't happened yet. Rather than me telling you all about it, go to this site and get the straight skinny.
Let's support the troops and let Hilton Hotels know you you feel.
Let's support the troops and let Hilton Hotels know you you feel.
Posting Reminder
For those who may have an interest, I have posted another chapter at Things I've Stumbled Across Along the Way.
There are two more chapters to be posted within the next week.
#150
There are two more chapters to be posted within the next week.
#150
Saturday, April 15, 2006
A Positive Outlook
I am sure you have all read this one before, but it is too good not share again.
READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.....
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,"If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon here after, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued,"...the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
READ THIS. LET IT REALLY SINK IN. THEN CHOOSE.....
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,"If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator.
If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.
Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.
I choose to be in a good mood."
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.
Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.
"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.
"Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood.
You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."
I reflected on what he said. Soon here after, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.
Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower.
After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.
I saw him about six months after the accident.
When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.
"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."
"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.
He continued,"...the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything.'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled,'Gravity'."
Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."
He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.
Attitude, after all, is everything.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Bill Clinton?!? In 45 Question
I guess I can't get away from this guy. Oh well!! These are the results of my choices. We all have something to bear. Lol
Bill Clinton?!? In Nine Question
Damn! The guys who came up with this one got too close. (Giggle. Giggle)
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Easy Rider in Nine Questions
Who knew?
Should you choose to try this click on the What Classic Movie link above.
This is too funny!
This is too funny!
1- Go to www.google.com
2- Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3- Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"
4- See what comes up!
5- Tell your friends before the good people at Google fix it
1- Go to www.google.com
2- Type in "Failure", without the quotes
3- Instead of hitting "Search" hit "I'm feeling Lucky"
4- See what comes up!
5- Tell your friends before the good people at Google fix it
The Racial Slur
The following scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat immediately."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class.
I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. However, we do still have one place in the first class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."
She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."
At that moment, many of the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat immediately."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class.
I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. However, we do still have one place in the first class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."
She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class."
At that moment, many of the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Some Interesting Thoughts
A number of years ago I read a book, Illusions, by Richard Bach. Within it is another book which is helpful to the story line. It is entitled The Messiahs Handbook: Reminders For The Advanced Soul. I tried to cite a page from that book in a comment to one of Pete Bog's postings. I couldn't remember it precisely so I paraphrased. I got pretty close, but close only counts in horsehoes, hand grenades and an ass-chewing.
In an effort to be more accurate I looked it up and here is the quote I wanted to make:
Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world--even if what is published is not true.
The nice thing about going back to the book is rediscovering the joy of reading it again. In Illusions the instructions with the Handbook indicate that the statements in the Handbook will help the reader to live a more authentic and spiritual life. It is suggested that when the reader has a question about life to randomly select a page from the Handbook and the answer will be provided. The reader may have to ponder it for a while. To that end a friend of mine typed each of the pages onto a separate 3x5 card so that I can randomly select the page to get the answers.
I would like to share another with you today and in the future I will consider sharing others. I strongly urge those of you who are on your own spiritual quest to read the book. I had asked for it for a Christmas present right after it was published. I received for Christmas and was able to finish reading it that very same day which was a momentous day on many fronts.
It was Christmas and our two young daughters were busy opening gifts and showing them to dear, old dad. We were visiting my in-laws who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary that day. And if that were not excitement enough, Penn State was playing Arizona State in some football bowl game. You might have guessed that Maryann and I graduated from those schools. She from PSU and me from ASU.
With all of that I still completed reading the book and time to eat dinner too. You have the possibility of being as taken with it as I was. Now for one more page from the handbook:
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
In an effort to be more accurate I looked it up and here is the quote I wanted to make:
Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is published around the world--even if what is published is not true.
The nice thing about going back to the book is rediscovering the joy of reading it again. In Illusions the instructions with the Handbook indicate that the statements in the Handbook will help the reader to live a more authentic and spiritual life. It is suggested that when the reader has a question about life to randomly select a page from the Handbook and the answer will be provided. The reader may have to ponder it for a while. To that end a friend of mine typed each of the pages onto a separate 3x5 card so that I can randomly select the page to get the answers.
I would like to share another with you today and in the future I will consider sharing others. I strongly urge those of you who are on your own spiritual quest to read the book. I had asked for it for a Christmas present right after it was published. I received for Christmas and was able to finish reading it that very same day which was a momentous day on many fronts.
It was Christmas and our two young daughters were busy opening gifts and showing them to dear, old dad. We were visiting my in-laws who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary that day. And if that were not excitement enough, Penn State was playing Arizona State in some football bowl game. You might have guessed that Maryann and I graduated from those schools. She from PSU and me from ASU.
With all of that I still completed reading the book and time to eat dinner too. You have the possibility of being as taken with it as I was. Now for one more page from the handbook:
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
If you're alive, it isn't.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Flirting is Mandatory
I am an avowed chocoholic. I am proud of it. I brag about it. And I try to spread the health benefits of a good dark chocolate. While I prefer French chocolates because they have more of the healthy stuff, I have found that Dove Promise pieces are quite excellent.
One of the fun parts of enjoying these chocolates is the important philosophical sayings printed on the inside of the wrapper. Tonight's chocolates were consumed slowly and methodically. One must let the chocolate melt in the mouth. It takes time and is well worth it. Now to the fun bonus, the instructions to make life much more meaningful.
1) Age is nothing but a number.
2) Flirting is Mandatory.
Nothing more needs to be said, except, I can hardly wait to consume the two pieces I have set aside for tomorrow's lunch.
One of the fun parts of enjoying these chocolates is the important philosophical sayings printed on the inside of the wrapper. Tonight's chocolates were consumed slowly and methodically. One must let the chocolate melt in the mouth. It takes time and is well worth it. Now to the fun bonus, the instructions to make life much more meaningful.
1) Age is nothing but a number.
2) Flirting is Mandatory.
Nothing more needs to be said, except, I can hardly wait to consume the two pieces I have set aside for tomorrow's lunch.
Friday, April 07, 2006
An Easter Story
You don't have to believe in God. But, if you can finish this tale without a tear in your eye, well, I will feel sad for you.
Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns.
One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns. When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.
Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.
Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?"
Beverly said, "Why, yes, I do."
Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?"
Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up."
Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is
another delivery taking place in the waiting room."
After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down, and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"
Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."
Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends.You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!"
Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"
Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up.
Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr.Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."
Well, they did just that, and women began to come in and share that room with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is, everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.
Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.
One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot.
When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."
Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me. It won't work and I'm not
interested."
Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family."
Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.
Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you, Phyllis, and I love you, and I'm praying for you."
One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."
Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, 'Do you believe in Easter?', but you have never asked me."
Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have
asked...Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"
Phyllis Cross said, "Oh, I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.
Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?"
Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."
Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter, Phyllis!"
Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties, and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies, because she wanted to go up to see Edith, give her some Easter lilies, and wish her a Happy Easter.
When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14:
"In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."
Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4:
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."
Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down her cheeks said, "Happy Easter, Edith --- Happy Easter!"
Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting.
She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"
If you believe in Easter, forward this on. God works in wonderful ways, and to believe in His power is to truly be free. If Jesus had e-mail, He'd do the same for you.
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!
Edith Burns was a wonderful Christian who lived in San Antonio, Texas. She was the patient of a doctor by the name of Will Phillips. Dr. Phillips was a gentle doctor who saw patients as people. His favorite patient was Edith Burns.
One morning he went to his office with a heavy heart and it was because of Edith Burns. When he walked into that waiting room, there sat Edith with her big black Bible in her lap earnestly talking to a young mother sitting beside her.
Edith Burns had a habit of introducing herself in this way: "Hello, my name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?" Then she would explain the meaning of Easter, and many times people would be saved.
Dr. Phillips walked into that office and there he saw the head nurse, Beverly. Beverly had first met Edith when she was taking her blood pressure. Edith began by saying, "My name is Edith Burns. Do you believe in Easter?"
Beverly said, "Why, yes, I do."
Edith said, "Well, what do you believe about Easter?"
Beverly said, "Well, it's all about egg hunts, going to church, and dressing up."
Edith kept pressing her about the real meaning of Easter, and finally led her to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
Dr. Phillips said, "Beverly, don't call Edith into the office quite yet. I believe there is
another delivery taking place in the waiting room."
After being called back in the doctor's office, Edith sat down, and when she took a look at the doctor she said, "Dr. Will, why are you so sad? Are you reading your Bible? Are you praying?"
Dr. Phillips said gently, "Edith, I'm the doctor and you're the patient." With a heavy heart he said, "Your lab report came back and it says you have cancer, and Edith, you're not going to live very long."
Edith said, "Why Will Phillips, shame on you. Why are you so sad? Do you think God makes mistakes? You have just told me I'm going to see my precious Lord Jesus, my husband, and my friends.You have just told me that I am going to celebrate Easter forever, and here you are having difficulty giving me my ticket!"
Dr. Phillips thought to himself, "What a magnificent woman this Edith Burns is!"
Edith continued coming to Dr. Phillips. Christmas came and the office was closed through January 3rd. On the day the office opened, Edith did not show up.
Later that afternoon, Edith called Dr.Phillips and said she would have to be moving her story to the hospital and said, "Will, I'm very near home, so would you make sure that they put women in here next to me in my room who need to know about Easter."
Well, they did just that, and women began to come in and share that room with Edith. Many women were saved. Everybody on that floor from staff to patients were so excited about Edith that they started calling her Edith Easter; that is, everyone except Phyllis Cross, the head nurse.
Phyllis made it plain that she wanted nothing to do with Edith because she was a "religious nut". She had been a nurse in an army hospital. She had seen it all and heard it all. She was the original G.I. Jane. She had been married three times, she was hard, cold, and did everything by the book.
One morning the two nurses who were to attend to Edith were sick. Edith had the flu and Phyllis Cross had to go in and give her a shot.
When she walked in, Edith had a big smile on her face and said, "Phyllis, God loves you and I love you, and I have been praying for you."
Phyllis Cross said, "Well, you can quit praying for me. It won't work and I'm not
interested."
Edith said, "Well, I will pray and I have asked God not to let me go home until you come into the family."
Phyllis Cross said, "Then you will never die because that will never happen," and curtly walked out of the room.
Every day Phyllis Cross would walk into the room and Edith would say, "God loves you, Phyllis, and I love you, and I'm praying for you."
One day Phyllis Cross said she was literally drawn to Edith's room like a magnet would draw iron. She sat down on the bed and Edith said, "I'm so glad you have come, because God told me that today is your special day."
Phyllis Cross said, "Edith, you have asked everybody here the question, 'Do you believe in Easter?', but you have never asked me."
Edith said, "Phyllis, I wanted to many times, but God told me to wait until you asked, and now that you have
asked...Edith Burns took her Bible and shared with Phyllis Cross the Easter Story of the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
Edith said, "Phyllis, do you believe in Easter? Do you believe that Jesus Christ is alive and that He wants to live in your heart?"
Phyllis Cross said, "Oh, I want to believe that with all of my heart, and I do want Jesus in my life." Right there, Phyllis Cross prayed and invited Jesus Christ into her heart. For the first time Phyllis Cross did not walk out of a hospital room, she was carried out on the wings of angels.
Two days later, Phyllis Cross came in and Edith said, "Do you know what day it is?"
Phyllis Cross said, "Why Edith, it's Good Friday."
Edith said, "Oh, no, for you every day is Easter. Happy Easter, Phyllis!"
Two days later, on Easter Sunday, Phyllis Cross came into work, did some of her duties, and then went down to the flower shop and got some Easter lilies, because she wanted to go up to see Edith, give her some Easter lilies, and wish her a Happy Easter.
When she walked into Edith's room, Edith was in bed. That big black Bible was on her lap. Her hands were in that Bible. There was a sweet smile on her face. When Phyllis Cross went to pick up Edith's hand, she realized Edith was dead. Her left hand was on John 14:
"In my Father's house are many mansions. I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also."
Her right hand was on Revelation 21:4:
"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, there shall be no more death nor sorrow, nor crying; and there shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."
Phyllis Cross took one look at that dead body, and then lifted her face toward heaven, and with tears streaming down her cheeks said, "Happy Easter, Edith --- Happy Easter!"
Phyllis Cross left Edith's body, walked out of the room and over to a table where two student nurses were sitting.
She said, "My name is Phyllis Cross. Do you believe in Easter?"
If you believe in Easter, forward this on. God works in wonderful ways, and to believe in His power is to truly be free. If Jesus had e-mail, He'd do the same for you.
HAVE A BLESSED DAY!
All Mothers Might Be Jewish Mothers.
CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS' MOTHER:
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write!
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of
your jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is
long past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"
BILL GATES MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
BILL CLINTON'S MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica.
"I don't care what you've discovered, you didn't call, you didn't write!
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER:
"A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER:
"You're not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of
your jacket and show me!"
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER:
Again with that hat! Why can't you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER:
"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER:
"Okay, so I'm proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER:
"I don't care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is
long past your bedtime!"
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER:
"Your senior photograph and you couldn't have done something with your hair?"
BILL GATES MOTHER:
"It would have killed you to become a doctor?"
BILL CLINTON'S MOTHER:
"Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl, that Monica.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Softer Water on the Way
After living here for 15 years, and the water getting steadily harder, we have finally decided to do something about it. So, last week we contacted the Culligan Man and they sent Kathy out to test the water and tell us about their product and service.
We contacted a neighbor who has had the same system in operation for over a year. She said she was extremely pleased and that the system more than lived up to expectations. With that information we contacted Kathy and said to go ahead.
Today they are installing the system. I can hardly wait to taste the water and see how clean things come out of the various devices that clean things--washing machines, automatic dishwashers, showers, etc.
We contacted a neighbor who has had the same system in operation for over a year. She said she was extremely pleased and that the system more than lived up to expectations. With that information we contacted Kathy and said to go ahead.
Today they are installing the system. I can hardly wait to taste the water and see how clean things come out of the various devices that clean things--washing machines, automatic dishwashers, showers, etc.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Benevolent Idealist
I am a benevolent idealist
As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style.
You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature.
You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.
You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind.
You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.
You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful.
It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well.
You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas.
Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.
How You Relate to Others
You are Benevolent
You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT
You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.
Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.
You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.
You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.
Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.
Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.
Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.
If you want to be different:
You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!
Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.
As an IDEALIST, you are distinctive for your integration of confidence, imagination, willingness to explore, and desire for competence over style.
You have a strong capacity to comprehend the inner workings of things, finding new ideas and innovative insights to feed your curious nature.
You are quite comfortable in the realm of abstract thought. You don't need a practical solution to every one of life's questions.
You are comfortable with the decisions you make in life. You don't need to second-guess yourself, or seek a lot of opinions before you make up your mind.
You enjoy the routines that you have created in your life, and don't feel the need to shake things up just for the sake of change.
You generally succeed at what you do, and others would describe you as successful.
It is important to you that products be efficient – looking good has to come second to working well.
You aren't the kind of person who needs to collect stylish items in an attempt to create an attractive environment – you know that what matters most is function, not style.
You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.
You do your own thing when it comes to clothing, guided more by practical concerns than by other people's notions of style.
Generally, you believe that you control your life, and that external forces only play a limited role in determining what happens to you.
If you want to be different:
You take time to explore your own thoughts and ideas, but this experience would only be heightened if you opened yourself up even more to others' ideas.
Your faith in yourself and your lifestyle is well-founded, but the occasional foray into the unknown might broaden your perspective and help you see things differently.
How You Relate to Others
You are Benevolent
You are a great person to interact with—understanding, giving, and trusting—in a word, BENEVOLENT
You don't mind being in social situations, as you feel comfortable enough with people to be yourself.
Your caring nature goes beyond a basic concern: you take the time to understand the nuances of people's situations before passing any sort of judgment.
You're a good listener, and even better at offering advice.
You're concerned with others at both an individual and societal level—you sympathize with the plights of troubled groups, and you can care about people you've never met.
Considering many different perspectives is something at which you excel, and you appreciate that quality in others.
Other people's feelings are important to you, and you're good at mediating disputes.
Because of your understanding and patience, you tend to bring out the best in people.
If you want to be different:
You spend a lot of time taking care of others, but don't forget to take care of yourself!
Sometimes you can get overcommitted, and when you sacrifice spending time with those close to you, it can make them feel unimportant.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
NAILS IN THE FENCE
This is another one of those stories that seems to last forever. Perhaps that happens becuase of the important message. You don't have to agree with it. And you may be tempted to pound some nails You can still be considered a friend.
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us."
YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!
Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.
Make sure you read all the way down to the last sentence.
(Most importantly the last sentence)
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.
When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed.
They lend an ear, they share words of praise
and they always want to open their hearts to us."
YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!
Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Special Idiot Awards
Too damned funny to keep to myself. Enjoy!!!
Number One Idiot of 2005
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2005
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2005
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Montreal, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of Montreal and crossed the street to the CIBC. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Montreal deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a CIBC deposit slip or go back to Bank of Montreal. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of Montreal. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2005
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!
Number Five Idiot of 2005
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Six of 2005
A pair of Manitoba robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2005
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
Number One Idiot of 2005
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
Number Two Idiot of 2005
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
Number Three Idiot of 2005
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of Montreal, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of Montreal and crossed the street to the CIBC. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of Montreal deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a CIBC deposit slip or go back to Bank of Montreal. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of Montreal. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
Number Four Idiot of 2005
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign (though this guy might be onto something worth thinking about)!
Number Five Idiot of 2005
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
Idiot Number Six of 2005
A pair of Manitoba robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
Idiot Number Seven of 2005
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign.
Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
Church Bulletins
You have probably seen many of these before, after all you are on the internet and receiving emails just like me.
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
>
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
>
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
>
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
> the
> church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please usethe back door.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours"!
They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
>
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
>
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
> ------------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
>
> >---------------------------------------------------------------------
> >Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
> the
> church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
>
> -----------------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
>
>---------------------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
>
>----------------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast
next Sunday.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please usethe back door.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours"!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)