One of the many duties I was fortunate to perform as a Military Police officer was the one of duty officer. For the uninitiated, that meant that I was the “head cop” for the night or weekend I had the assignment. During that time I was the supervisor of the MP’s who were on the road providing service and protection for the inhabitants of Fort Hood, TX.
One evening I recall particularly, we were having a very pleasant and quiet time. The routine patrols were just that, routine. The young specialist who was the desk clerk made a comment on how quiet things were. He wanted to have something to do. His comment was something to the effect that we needed a domestic disturbance, a fire or even a murder. The words were hardly out of his mouth when the call came in reporting a domestic disturbance in one of the housing areas.
A patrol was dispatched, and with nothing better to do, my driver and I set off to watch the action. We went into the quarters to determine what was happening. In most situations like that we try to determine what is going on and then take the soldier back to his unit and turn him over to the First Sergeant, or whomever is on duty at the company. We were explaining this to the couple and were about to take the soldier out to the sedan. He was cooperative, however, upon reaching the company area he decided to put up a struggle and kicked at the MP’s. Not a good plan. They subdued him and were taking him up the walkway to the company headquarters when the fire call came through.
Well, we were off again for a new adventure. We arrived on the scene to find the fire department doing their job extremely well. The MP’s who answered the call were doing there job according to SOP (standing operating procedures), and the next call came in. You guessed it, sounds of gunfire in a different housing area.
Upon arrival, I discovered that the MP’s and CID (detectives) were on the scene. They had secured the area and were attempting to gain entry into the quarters. The front door was blocked. They finally entered the rear door. Two of the MP’s and a CID agent entered and confronted the wife. She was seated on the couch in the front room. Her husband’s body was on the floor, blocking the front door.
The wife was asked what happened. It was difficult for them to understand her due to her German accent. She became quite agitated and reached under a pillow on the sofa and pulled out a revolver. The MP’s and the CID agent commanded her to drop the weapon. She refused to do so and was waving back and forth between the MP’s and the CID agent. The CID agent discharged two rounds hitting her in the arm with both of them. It took the second shot for her to release her grip on the weapon.
During this time I was outside at the front of the house keeping the neighbors away and trying to find out what information I could about the situation when I heard a gun being fired. It was only later that I learned the details. As it turned out the woman was standing between the CID agent and the front of the house. It was good he was a good shot. Had he missed a bullet might have come my way.
That ended the excitement for the evening. We returned to the MP Station to complete the paperwork. It was then that we suggested to the young desk clerk to be much more circumspect in what he wishes for. We didn’t need that much excitement at one time.
Friday, March 31, 2006
I Like You
I like you
This one came in an email from a friend. I thought you might enjoy it. btw, the red button is in all of us. We just have to find, and operate it frequently.
There is a sound component to it, so turn it on, but not too loud. We wouldn't want you to get a swelled head. lol
This one came in an email from a friend. I thought you might enjoy it. btw, the red button is in all of us. We just have to find, and operate it frequently.
There is a sound component to it, so turn it on, but not too loud. We wouldn't want you to get a swelled head. lol
Thursday, March 30, 2006
I love mustard
Another funny story.
(This is a true story. If you have children you can probably relate)
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . . "Poupon."
When you stop laughing, pass it on.
(This is a true story. If you have children you can probably relate)
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.
Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . . "Poupon."
When you stop laughing, pass it on.
Hazel, our angel cat
Hazel was a gift from our oldest daughter. We were to be a temporary refuge for her. That temporary time has been approximately 14 years now. She and Maryann are inseparable.
As you can tell, Hazel does love lap time. She was pestering me a moment ago for lap time, but I had to answer the door. Her lap time was cut short. We will get together later.
Like most cats, she is fastidious in her toilette. Her white fur is the cleanest, softest substance you have ever felt.
Hazel had not tried to chew on the orchids. At last we have found a plant that seems to be cat proof.
Now for the story of the angel cat. While Maryann was recovering from an illness, Hazel stayed with her on the bed. Maryann needed the feline positive energy. Hazel was more than willing to supply it.
Hazel is a very sweet cat who has had her own share of misery. A few years ago we came home to find her in very poor health. The vet said she had kidney problems and kept her for a couple of days. She had to be re-hydrated and switched to food that had less protien. Her body can no longer process protein. Thank goodnesss for Hill's Science Diet K/D cat food. Hazel is once again a healthy 11 pound cat.
She is a people cat, unless you are a "blue collar" worker who arrives in the driveway in a truck. When that happens she runs to hide under the bed. We laugh so hard at that and most of the workmen do too. We didn't realize we had raised a snobbish cat. But, we love her anyway. What else can I say?
As you can tell, Hazel does love lap time. She was pestering me a moment ago for lap time, but I had to answer the door. Her lap time was cut short. We will get together later.
Like most cats, she is fastidious in her toilette. Her white fur is the cleanest, softest substance you have ever felt.
Hazel had not tried to chew on the orchids. At last we have found a plant that seems to be cat proof.Now for the story of the angel cat. While Maryann was recovering from an illness, Hazel stayed with her on the bed. Maryann needed the feline positive energy. Hazel was more than willing to supply it.
Hazel is a very sweet cat who has had her own share of misery. A few years ago we came home to find her in very poor health. The vet said she had kidney problems and kept her for a couple of days. She had to be re-hydrated and switched to food that had less protien. Her body can no longer process protein. Thank goodnesss for Hill's Science Diet K/D cat food. Hazel is once again a healthy 11 pound cat.
She is a people cat, unless you are a "blue collar" worker who arrives in the driveway in a truck. When that happens she runs to hide under the bed. We laugh so hard at that and most of the workmen do too. We didn't realize we had raised a snobbish cat. But, we love her anyway. What else can I say?
STROKE IDENTIFICATION
A friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously.. Please read:
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK . to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . It is sunny out today)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
The warning signs of a stroke are:
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this...
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK . to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE
(Coherently) (i.e. . It is sunny out today)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
{NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their tongue... if the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke}
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
The warning signs of a stroke are:
- Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body.
- Sudden confusion, trouble speaking, or understanding.
- Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes.
- Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination.
- Sudden, severe headache with no known cause.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Words of Wisdom!?
Friends don't let friends
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dus! t on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.
If pro is opposite of con,then what is the
opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington, DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
and my favorite, and most realistic one ~~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
take home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC
If life is a waste of time,
and time is a waste of life,
then let's all get wasted together
and have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington, DC
Fighting for peace is like
screwing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge, LO
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, NC
At the feast of ego
everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ
It's hard to make a comeback
when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dus! t on the back of a bus,
Wickenburg, AZ
Make love, not war.
-Hell, do both
GET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT
If voting could really change things,
it would be illegal.
Revolution Books
New York, New York.
If pro is opposite of con,then what is the
opposite of progress?
Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives,
Washington, DC
Express Lane:
Five beers or less
Sign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix, AZ
You're too good for him.
Sign over mirror in Women's restroom
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
No wonder you always go home alone.
Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,
Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills,CA
and my favorite, and most realistic one ~~~
A Woman's Rule of Thumb:
If it has tires or testicles,
you're going to have trouble with it.
Women's restroom
Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, TX
Oliphant Political Cartoon
This cartoon appeared in The Kansas City Star this morning. It is priceless. What do you think, li'l Feller?
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Global Warming Alert?
Is this Dubya's stand-in? Should be worried about global warming? Should be begin to invest in sailboats?
Thanks Alison.
#125
Thanks Alison.
#125
More Dumbass, Specious Humor
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore..
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is (expletive deleted.)
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He pre fers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore..
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is (expletive deleted.)
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He pre fers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
Friday, March 24, 2006
what??
> There was an elderly gentleman who feared his wife was getting
> hard of hearing.
>
> So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have
> her hearing checked.
> The doctor made an appointment for a hearing
> test in two weeks, and told him of a simple informal test that he
> could give her so that he (the doctor) would have an idea of the severity
> of her problem.
>
> Here's what you do," said the doctor, "start out about 40 feet
> away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she
> hears you.
> If not,go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a
> response.."
>
> That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he's in the
> living room. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what
> happens."
> Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for supper?" No
> response.
>
> So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feetfrom
> his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for supper?" Still no
> response.
>
> Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from
> his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for supper?"
> Again he gets no response.
>
> So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. "Honey, what's
> for supper?" Again there is no response.
>
> So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for supper?"
>
> (I just love this!)
>
> "Damn it, Jack, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"
Male Sexist Funny? stuff
TOP 17 COUNTRY SONGS for 2006
> 17. I Hate Every Bone in her Body but Mine
>
> 16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long
>
> 15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
>
> 14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
>
> 13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away
>
> 12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
>
> 11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
>
> 10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
>
> 9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
>
> 8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here
>
> 7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
>
> 6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
>
> 5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
>
> 4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
>
> 3. Her Teeth Were Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
>
> 2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
>
> *And the Number #1 country song is;
>
> 1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few!
> 17. I Hate Every Bone in her Body but Mine
>
> 16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your Ass Out All Day Long
>
> 15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
>
> 14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
>
> 13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away
>
> 12. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
>
> 11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
>
> 10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
>
> 9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
>
> 8. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here
>
> 7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
>
> 6. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
>
> 5. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
>
> 4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
>
> 3. Her Teeth Were Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
>
> 2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
>
> *And the Number #1 country song is;
>
> 1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With Ugly Women but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few!
A slightly longer political quiz
Thanks to aka fatty, I invite your attention to this political quiz. The results might be different than the previous quiz.
Enjoy!
Enjoy!
Dinner Out
The coupon came in the mail. Dinner for two. Meal, beverages and desert, no tax, no tips, $45.00.
"Should we go?"
"I don't know. Do you want to?"
"OK, lets do it."
"I don't know. No"
"What's included? Where is it located? What times?"
"Lets not. I put it in the recycle bin"
"Lets do it. I pulled out of the recycle bin. You make the reservation"
The coupon for the Bonefish Grill arrived in the mail and we had a conversation similar to the one above. A quick internet search to get directions that were somewhat confusing. The address is so new that google maps did not have the street yet.
I called to make the reservation and they wanted us to come that very evening. I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. However, since the place is new, perhaps not enough folks knew about it yet. I did make a reservation for a week from that day. The day was th 23rd, yesterday.
The few notes I had made on the letter accompanying the reservation were somewhat cryptiic in that I have forgotten all the good penmanship rules. I did remember that it was the restaurant/establishment on the western end of a newly constructed shopping mall and only a half a mile west of the interstate. (That was helpful, except we were coming from the west, so how would we know we were a half mile away?)
We did fiind it. It stuck out like a sore thumb because the area was in the midst of construction. There were mounds of huge stones bulldozed out of the area to make way for the shopping center. They were on the south side of the area and we entered from the street on the north side.
We were greeted courteously and seated immediately. There were quite a number of patrons there already and yet there were a few tables and booths available. We were seated at a corner booth were Maryann could watch all of the other patrons. The ambience was very pleasant. Warm tans and browns. Marine-life art on the walls. The wait staff wearing white chef's smocks. Our person was Gus, short for Gustavo. He had a slight accent of some sort, which only added to the enjoyment. He seemed to be thoroughly knowledgeable of the menu, the wine list and the bar offerings. He patiently explained a few things for us and then gave us plenty of time to discuss our choices.
Now for the good part. And I mean really good part. Maryann had the grilled Chesapeake Bay Rockfish with a lime & tomato sauce, a dinner salad (which we shared), and the steamed vegetable medley consisting of brocolli florets, asaparagus, red peppers, slices of yellow squash, and carrots. My entree was the scallops and shrimp with a lemon butter sauce, and the steamed vegetable medley. We each had a glass of Rosemount Chardonnay and it was superb. We had just finished a couple of bottles of the same wine at home during the last week.
Then came the bill, complete with a $10.00 tip, we spent the whopping amount of $13.00 for a marvelous dinner. There at least three other couples we will take back there. If there is one in your area, you must try it out. For my friends in other lands, I am sure you will have something similar to this in your neighbourhood.
Bon apetit!
"Should we go?"
"I don't know. Do you want to?"
"OK, lets do it."
"I don't know. No"
"What's included? Where is it located? What times?"
"Lets not. I put it in the recycle bin"
"Lets do it. I pulled out of the recycle bin. You make the reservation"
The coupon for the Bonefish Grill arrived in the mail and we had a conversation similar to the one above. A quick internet search to get directions that were somewhat confusing. The address is so new that google maps did not have the street yet.
I called to make the reservation and they wanted us to come that very evening. I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. However, since the place is new, perhaps not enough folks knew about it yet. I did make a reservation for a week from that day. The day was th 23rd, yesterday.
The few notes I had made on the letter accompanying the reservation were somewhat cryptiic in that I have forgotten all the good penmanship rules. I did remember that it was the restaurant/establishment on the western end of a newly constructed shopping mall and only a half a mile west of the interstate. (That was helpful, except we were coming from the west, so how would we know we were a half mile away?)
We did fiind it. It stuck out like a sore thumb because the area was in the midst of construction. There were mounds of huge stones bulldozed out of the area to make way for the shopping center. They were on the south side of the area and we entered from the street on the north side.
We were greeted courteously and seated immediately. There were quite a number of patrons there already and yet there were a few tables and booths available. We were seated at a corner booth were Maryann could watch all of the other patrons. The ambience was very pleasant. Warm tans and browns. Marine-life art on the walls. The wait staff wearing white chef's smocks. Our person was Gus, short for Gustavo. He had a slight accent of some sort, which only added to the enjoyment. He seemed to be thoroughly knowledgeable of the menu, the wine list and the bar offerings. He patiently explained a few things for us and then gave us plenty of time to discuss our choices.
Now for the good part. And I mean really good part. Maryann had the grilled Chesapeake Bay Rockfish with a lime & tomato sauce, a dinner salad (which we shared), and the steamed vegetable medley consisting of brocolli florets, asaparagus, red peppers, slices of yellow squash, and carrots. My entree was the scallops and shrimp with a lemon butter sauce, and the steamed vegetable medley. We each had a glass of Rosemount Chardonnay and it was superb. We had just finished a couple of bottles of the same wine at home during the last week.
Then came the bill, complete with a $10.00 tip, we spent the whopping amount of $13.00 for a marvelous dinner. There at least three other couples we will take back there. If there is one in your area, you must try it out. For my friends in other lands, I am sure you will have something similar to this in your neighbourhood.
Bon apetit!
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Political Quiz
OK, gang, here it is the world's smallest political quiz. Have fun with it. I will report my results on a future comment to this posting.
War Story #5
I don’t remember how long I had the instructor assignment. It could have been almost a year when the Air Force decided it was time for me to practice the trade of jet engine mechanic. I was reassigned to Williams AFB in Chandler, AZ. That was a small town Southeast of Phoenix. I never did get to work on any jet engines. My job was known as a 780 clerk. There were several of us doing this job. Our primary responsibility was to maintain ancillary equipment and the requisite paperwork and manuals for the squadron.
It was a dull, routine job that did not take a lot of time. I did get proficient at removing and replacing outdated pages in technical manuals. There must have been about a half dozen mechanic’s shacks along the flight line. Each had its own set of manuals that had to be updated periodically. To make my job more fulfilling I would wait until I had several updates to post prior to doing the updates. Then it would take me about half of the morning to do the job. As I reflect on that course of action now, I was a real dummy. There could have been some very important updates that might have caused serious harm.
It was during this assignment that I met a young woman whom I would eventually ask to be my wife. I recall reading something by Shere Hite, I believe it was, about escaping into marriage. I think we both did that. The one very good thing that came from that union was our beautiful daughter. She is still a bright spot in my life, along with her sisters, the girls from this marriage.
I was able to attain the rank of Airman First Class during my four-year tour. Nothing spectacular in that. I also began taking college courses. At no time in my life did I ever think about, much less plan, college. No one in our family had ever gotten past high school. Upon my completion of my tour with the Air Force I attended Arizona State University, majoring in philosophy/psychology. Because of my military service I was able to complete a four-year program in three.
It was during this time that an old family friend came to ASU as a faculty member. He and I discussed the option of ROTC. My goal at that time was to get a Master’s degree and go teach somewhere. I wasn’t about to go back into the military for a prolonged assignment. He did remind me that, at that time, the Army had a program whereby you could serve six-months active duty for training and spend the rest of your obligated time in the reserves. Well that fit more into my plan. Besides, at that time, ROTC students in their last two years were paid a marvelous stipend of $20.00 per month. Being married with one child that extra money came in handy.
I got the six-month assignment. I put off going to summer camp until I graduated, and was sworn in at the completion of that camp. I returned to Phoenix to await the date to report to Fort Gordon, GA to attend the basic MP officers training. Well wouldn’t you know it, something had to change. Those damned fools built the Berlin wall and I got orders extending my six-month tour to two years. That was a bit of a shock. My wife was not too happy about it, but there will be more about that later, perhaps in the next chapter.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
War Story #4
When I enlisted in the US Air Force my career options were limited. I chose jet engine mechanic. After completing basic training at Sampson AFB in New York State I was then assigned to Chanute AFB in Rantoul, IL for my technical training. During the course of training one of the NCO instructors observed me explaining the accessory section of a J-47 engine to a classmate. He later asked me if I would like to be an instructor. My first response was no.
After thinking over the opportunity, I went back to him and talked more about it. After that conversation I decided that I would give it a try. Apparently he saw something in me that I did not know about. At the time I did not know anything about power other than the power that comes with position. I used it unmercifully. As I look back on it, I was a tyrant. I had one more stripe than any of the students. You guessed it, I outranked them and I took unfair advantage of that. It was a learning experience.
I remember one class that was particularly unruly. They were required to do the GI party earlier than usual. Hey, if you don't want to learn, then we will let you do something you will have to do anyway.
That was my first taste of being an instructor. I have found out ways to do that from that time on. I like to think that I have mellowed since then. The difference, as far as I can tell, is the discovery of my personal power.
All through my life I have found myself making decisions to be teaching others. It is very rewarding to help others discover things they knew, but were unaware of their knowledge. I was beginning to lay the foundation so that I could discover the concepts of ....
Serve Well! Live Fully! Do good works.
After thinking over the opportunity, I went back to him and talked more about it. After that conversation I decided that I would give it a try. Apparently he saw something in me that I did not know about. At the time I did not know anything about power other than the power that comes with position. I used it unmercifully. As I look back on it, I was a tyrant. I had one more stripe than any of the students. You guessed it, I outranked them and I took unfair advantage of that. It was a learning experience.
I remember one class that was particularly unruly. They were required to do the GI party earlier than usual. Hey, if you don't want to learn, then we will let you do something you will have to do anyway.
That was my first taste of being an instructor. I have found out ways to do that from that time on. I like to think that I have mellowed since then. The difference, as far as I can tell, is the discovery of my personal power.
All through my life I have found myself making decisions to be teaching others. It is very rewarding to help others discover things they knew, but were unaware of their knowledge. I was beginning to lay the foundation so that I could discover the concepts of ....
Serve Well! Live Fully! Do good works.
Fact or Fiction?
George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Donald Rumsfeld's shoes in the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Donald! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Donald yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Donald Rumsfeld."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!!!
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give me?"
"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."
Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"
The Queen takes a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."
The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister in here, would you?"
Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"
Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!"
"Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.
Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney.
"Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?"
"I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."
Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him an answer.
Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Donald Rumsfeld's shoes in the next stall.
Dick shouts, "Donald! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Donald yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"
Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"
Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.
"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Donald Rumsfeld."
Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!!!
They said it would snow.
Well, there you have it. That is the massive amount of snow that was forecast. I believe it was supposed to be in the range of eight inches. If it is more than an inch I would be surprised. I took this early this morning when I went out to pick up the morning paper. There was very little snow on the driveway and side walks. At this rate it will probably be melted by supper time this evening.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am not complaining. We could have used more precipitation, but we will take what we can get. Anyway, a neighbor has a snow blower when it comes to its removal. Anyone interested can visit this site for the weather in Lansing, KS. I put map in motion and it looks as though we are done with preciptation for a while.
Make it a great day, wherever you are!
Monday, March 20, 2006
Snoring
Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?" He said, "Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was a different deputy's turn. In the morning, same thing--hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Daryl shakes the roof. I watched him all night."
The third night was Frank's turn. Frank was a big burly ex-football player; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. "Good morning." They couldn't believe it! They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Daryl into bed and kissed him good night. He sat up and watched me all night long."
She has another article published.
As any proud father, I just have to share with others. She is working on beginning a writing career too. You might enjoy this article of her trip to South by Southwes. She is using a psuedonym for regular job protection.
Spring is Sprung
Spring is sprung,
the grass is rizz.
I wonder where the birdies is?
Some say the birdies take to wing,
but that's absurd.
We all know,
it's the wing that takes the bird.
Anonymous
Spring arrived today and with it a winter storm. Before it is all over we are forecast to have eight inches of fat, heavy, water-laden snow flakes. We will be staying inside for a couple of days. This weekend the temperature is supposed to get up into the 40's which should melt the snow and I won't have to shovel it.
With Spring comes the annual spring cleaning. Today we spent the better part of the day cleaning the three rooms upstairs. You know, the usual stuff--dust the walls, clean the bathroom, move the furniture, vacuum the floors, polish the furniture, dust the knick knacks, etc.
We had a good time getting it all done. We were lucky because we did the window back in February when we had some warm, spring-like weather. Now it is time to get caught up with this fun stuff.
I just had a wonderful IM chat with my granddaughter. It was wonderful to have the chat. We live quite a distance apart and I don't get to see her or her family. Perhaps this summer I will get to see her. At least that is part of the plan now.
I am beginning to get the wonderful aroma of the BBQ beef brisket cooking in the crock pot. It is making my mouth water. We worked together this morning to get it ready for the pot. We took a break from cleaning to do it. Maryann prepared and applied the rub and I did the BBQ sauce. It was a recipe from Taste of home. I may just copy it and post it at Recipes. I think I'll stop now and get that done.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
the grass is rizz.
I wonder where the birdies is?
Some say the birdies take to wing,
but that's absurd.
We all know,
it's the wing that takes the bird.
Anonymous
Spring arrived today and with it a winter storm. Before it is all over we are forecast to have eight inches of fat, heavy, water-laden snow flakes. We will be staying inside for a couple of days. This weekend the temperature is supposed to get up into the 40's which should melt the snow and I won't have to shovel it.
With Spring comes the annual spring cleaning. Today we spent the better part of the day cleaning the three rooms upstairs. You know, the usual stuff--dust the walls, clean the bathroom, move the furniture, vacuum the floors, polish the furniture, dust the knick knacks, etc.
We had a good time getting it all done. We were lucky because we did the window back in February when we had some warm, spring-like weather. Now it is time to get caught up with this fun stuff.
I just had a wonderful IM chat with my granddaughter. It was wonderful to have the chat. We live quite a distance apart and I don't get to see her or her family. Perhaps this summer I will get to see her. At least that is part of the plan now.
I am beginning to get the wonderful aroma of the BBQ beef brisket cooking in the crock pot. It is making my mouth water. We worked together this morning to get it ready for the pot. We took a break from cleaning to do it. Maryann prepared and applied the rub and I did the BBQ sauce. It was a recipe from Taste of home. I may just copy it and post it at Recipes. I think I'll stop now and get that done.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
The Bathtub
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug ... Do you want a room with or without a view?"
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the director, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No" said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug ... Do you want a room with or without a view?"
For Crossword Puzzle Lovers
If you like crossword puzzles you might want to visit any of these sites:
USA Today Crossword
MSNBC Crossword
Washington Post Crossword
Thinks.com Daily Crossword
Enjoy!
USA Today Crossword
MSNBC Crossword
Washington Post Crossword
Thinks.com Daily Crossword
Enjoy!
War Story #3
"War Story” #3
Today has been a very busy day, and wouldn't you know it the muse has come knocking and said, "Pay attention to me! I have things you need to write down." So here goes.
It was in 1961 during my first assignment as a 2nd Lt. aka butter bar. I was fortunate in a couple of respects. 1) I was an Army brat, and 2) I had served four years as enlisted man in the Air Force. It was a pretty good deal upon graduation from high school. I have never been much of a planner and this opportunity arose and I took it. Maybe talking things over with the magistrate and my step-dad concerning a bum rap that caused me to spend a night in the county jail had something to do with it. Anyway, upon graduation I hightailed it down to the recruiter’s office and signed up.
Now we will leap forward a few years to the Fort Hood assignment with the 720th MP Battalion. As the lieutenant who had the most time in service I was lucky to be the highest paid shave-tail in the battalion. There was a joke going around that only the battalion commander made more money than I did. I wished. I had received my commission upon the completion of ROTC summer camp. I never will forget our Platoon Sergeant inviting me for a beer at the PX slop chute the night before my commissioning. He offered a toast to me on the last night I would be a man. You know the military custom separating the officers from the men? It was an honor for me for him to care enough to take that extra step.
Jumping back to Fort Hood let me get to the one small story that caused me to write this posting. Our company had about the best supply sergeant in the US Army. If we didn't have it, we didn't need it. He kept the troops well supplied. Around the supply room he had hung a number of signs. Each had a pithy little message one could carry through life and it would hold him in good stead. My favorite was this one, "You are not completely worthless, you can always serve as a bad example." And to think I almost was.
Life is good, no matter what. The goodness comes in discovering and learning the lesson.
Today has been a very busy day, and wouldn't you know it the muse has come knocking and said, "Pay attention to me! I have things you need to write down." So here goes.
It was in 1961 during my first assignment as a 2nd Lt. aka butter bar. I was fortunate in a couple of respects. 1) I was an Army brat, and 2) I had served four years as enlisted man in the Air Force. It was a pretty good deal upon graduation from high school. I have never been much of a planner and this opportunity arose and I took it. Maybe talking things over with the magistrate and my step-dad concerning a bum rap that caused me to spend a night in the county jail had something to do with it. Anyway, upon graduation I hightailed it down to the recruiter’s office and signed up.
Now we will leap forward a few years to the Fort Hood assignment with the 720th MP Battalion. As the lieutenant who had the most time in service I was lucky to be the highest paid shave-tail in the battalion. There was a joke going around that only the battalion commander made more money than I did. I wished. I had received my commission upon the completion of ROTC summer camp. I never will forget our Platoon Sergeant inviting me for a beer at the PX slop chute the night before my commissioning. He offered a toast to me on the last night I would be a man. You know the military custom separating the officers from the men? It was an honor for me for him to care enough to take that extra step.
Jumping back to Fort Hood let me get to the one small story that caused me to write this posting. Our company had about the best supply sergeant in the US Army. If we didn't have it, we didn't need it. He kept the troops well supplied. Around the supply room he had hung a number of signs. Each had a pithy little message one could carry through life and it would hold him in good stead. My favorite was this one, "You are not completely worthless, you can always serve as a bad example." And to think I almost was.
Life is good, no matter what. The goodness comes in discovering and learning the lesson.
Guinness is Great!!
Yesterday, while at work, there was time for me to view my favorite blogs and left this message for Pete, thanks for the invitation to hoist a pint. I have some waiting in the fridge upon return to my humble abode. It is dark and soothing and oh, so smooth.
Will 5PM never come.
May the road rise up to meet you.
I meant every word of it. As I usually do prior to pulling out of the parking lot, I called home to let my wife know I was on my way. She informed me that the neighbors had issued an invitation to go out to dinner. I thought that was great. Then I asked if I was included in the invitation. Thank goodness I was.
Uh, oh. Does that mean I won't get to drink that dark beer awaiting me? Only time would tell, and so will I, tell.
Shortly after my arrival home the neighbors drove up and of we went to dinner. It was then that I asked the destination. I was informed we were goint to a new restaurant in downtown Leavenworth called Tampico. Yeah, that's right, it is a Mexican restaurant. You might ask, for St. Patrick's day? Yeah, for St. Patrick's day. It was fabulous. There was quite a crowd, but it didn't take much time to get a table.
The young lady who waited on our table asked for our drink order and I asked for a Guinness. Pete, this was going to be even better than what I had at home (Michelob Amber Bock). I was informed that they might not have any. So I looked at the drink menu as she directed and much to my delight Guinness was there. Well, that settled that. While waiting for my Guinness, George got his green beer and the ladies got their Margaritas. A waiter appeared at my shoulder and asked if I had ordered the Guinness. "YES! I did." "Well we might have a problem. The Guinness is warm, do you still want it?" "YES, I do." Shortly thereafter the bottle appeared. As I was about to put it to my lips the young man suggested an cold mug to which I agreed. To make a short story longer, it was a marvelous drink and a marvelous dinner. Good friends, good food and good stout. What more could I ask for that I have some control over?
Perhaps, tonight I will imbibe in the Michelob.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
Will 5PM never come.
May the road rise up to meet you.
I meant every word of it. As I usually do prior to pulling out of the parking lot, I called home to let my wife know I was on my way. She informed me that the neighbors had issued an invitation to go out to dinner. I thought that was great. Then I asked if I was included in the invitation. Thank goodness I was.
Uh, oh. Does that mean I won't get to drink that dark beer awaiting me? Only time would tell, and so will I, tell.
Shortly after my arrival home the neighbors drove up and of we went to dinner. It was then that I asked the destination. I was informed we were goint to a new restaurant in downtown Leavenworth called Tampico. Yeah, that's right, it is a Mexican restaurant. You might ask, for St. Patrick's day? Yeah, for St. Patrick's day. It was fabulous. There was quite a crowd, but it didn't take much time to get a table.
The young lady who waited on our table asked for our drink order and I asked for a Guinness. Pete, this was going to be even better than what I had at home (Michelob Amber Bock). I was informed that they might not have any. So I looked at the drink menu as she directed and much to my delight Guinness was there. Well, that settled that. While waiting for my Guinness, George got his green beer and the ladies got their Margaritas. A waiter appeared at my shoulder and asked if I had ordered the Guinness. "YES! I did." "Well we might have a problem. The Guinness is warm, do you still want it?" "YES, I do." Shortly thereafter the bottle appeared. As I was about to put it to my lips the young man suggested an cold mug to which I agreed. To make a short story longer, it was a marvelous drink and a marvelous dinner. Good friends, good food and good stout. What more could I ask for that I have some control over?
Perhaps, tonight I will imbibe in the Michelob.
Serve well! Live fully! Do good works!
Friday, March 17, 2006
War Story #2
It was March 1965. The 720th MP Battalion was in the field at Fort Hood, TX. We were undergoing routine field training. One thing about the military police, when they go to the field for training, they end up doing their normal police duties too. The mission was going along quite well. We were securing convoys, manning traffic control points, providing security for important sites, and generally trying to keep from being miserable. Late in the day, early evening if my memory serves me right, we were ordered back to garrison to prepare for an early morning deployment. We were given a couple of hours to get whatever gear we needed from our homes, but we could not tell our families where we were going.
We had all been keeping up with the "outside world". It was the time of civil rights movement and many important things were happening. This was the time when James Meredith was enrolled at the University of Mississippi. Our job would be to provide personal security for him during his tenure there.
The battalion packed up and went to Killeen AFB to board military transports for the flight to Memphis. It is amazing how you can make bed out of packing crates in a 1/4 ton trailer. Upon landing at Memphis we received a briefing concerning our assignments. My platoon was going to be split up to establish road blocks at the major routes in and out of Oxford, Mississippi.
We boarded helicopters to be transported to our duty sites. We were all equipped with the appropriate "combat" gear for the time. We were issued the tear gas grenades that looked like baseballs. It was a common practice to hang them on our web gear by their pin rings. The rationalization being, that if you needed to deploy them in a hurry, you just had to yank on the grenade and it would come free of the pin. There is not much danger when doing this as long as the handle is held firmly. As soon as the handle is released the grenade will blow tear gas all over hell and back, or at least in a relatively large radius. And, it doesn't pay to be down wind of one without a gas mask.
I traveled with one of the squads that was led by an "old timer". He was a good NCO, and could be very funny. While in flight Sarge was trying to get comfortable and was adjusting his gear when his rifle sling pushed against one of his tear gas grenades separating it from its pin. He did not have the grenade in his hand and it came loose from the pin. All of the MPs on board had gas masks. The flight crew did not. A potentially dangerous situation. However, the helicopter banked the proper direction and the grenade rolled harmlessly out of the door.
We made it to our duty post without further incident. The Sarge and I did have a little discussion about this. He realized that we were all very fortunate.
More about this assignment later.
We had all been keeping up with the "outside world". It was the time of civil rights movement and many important things were happening. This was the time when James Meredith was enrolled at the University of Mississippi. Our job would be to provide personal security for him during his tenure there.
The battalion packed up and went to Killeen AFB to board military transports for the flight to Memphis. It is amazing how you can make bed out of packing crates in a 1/4 ton trailer. Upon landing at Memphis we received a briefing concerning our assignments. My platoon was going to be split up to establish road blocks at the major routes in and out of Oxford, Mississippi.
We boarded helicopters to be transported to our duty sites. We were all equipped with the appropriate "combat" gear for the time. We were issued the tear gas grenades that looked like baseballs. It was a common practice to hang them on our web gear by their pin rings. The rationalization being, that if you needed to deploy them in a hurry, you just had to yank on the grenade and it would come free of the pin. There is not much danger when doing this as long as the handle is held firmly. As soon as the handle is released the grenade will blow tear gas all over hell and back, or at least in a relatively large radius. And, it doesn't pay to be down wind of one without a gas mask.
I traveled with one of the squads that was led by an "old timer". He was a good NCO, and could be very funny. While in flight Sarge was trying to get comfortable and was adjusting his gear when his rifle sling pushed against one of his tear gas grenades separating it from its pin. He did not have the grenade in his hand and it came loose from the pin. All of the MPs on board had gas masks. The flight crew did not. A potentially dangerous situation. However, the helicopter banked the proper direction and the grenade rolled harmlessly out of the door.
We made it to our duty post without further incident. The Sarge and I did have a little discussion about this. He realized that we were all very fortunate.
More about this assignment later.
"Drinking buddies"
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hanger with nothing to do. Bud said, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?"
So they poured themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings......It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover....... nothing.
We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing......"
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No..."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz.
You wanna try it?"
So they poured themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and got completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing!
Then the phone rings......It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?"
Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?"
Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?"
Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover....... nothing.
We ought to do this more often."
"Yeah, well there's just one thing......"
"What's that?"
"Have you farted yet?"
"No..."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
"It's Going to be a Long NIght"
Two men were sitting next to each other in a bar. After a while, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland." The other guy responds proudly. Yes, that I am."
The first guy says, "So am I. And where about from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, Sure and begorra, and so am I. And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."
The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world, so did I. And to what school would you have gone to?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited and says, "By, God! So did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other guy anwers, "Well now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The good Lord must be smiling down on us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender walks over to Vicky, shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight." Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?" Brian says, "The Murphy twins are drunk again."
The first guy says, "So am I. And where about from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, I'm from Dublin, I am."
The first guy responds, Sure and begorra, and so am I. And what street did you live on in Dublin?" The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was, I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town."
The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world, so did I. And to what school would you have gone to?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's of course."
The first guy gets really excited and says, "By, God! So did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other guy anwers, "Well now, let's see, I graduated in 1964."
The first guy exclaims, "The good Lord must be smiling down on us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self."
About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender walks over to Vicky, shaking his head & mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight." Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?" Brian says, "The Murphy twins are drunk again."
Thursday, March 16, 2006
A "War Story", the first of several
The year was 1961 it was my first duty assignment as a Second Lieutenant--Company B, 720th MP Battalion, Fort Hood, TX. As a company officer I had many additional duties to supplement my primary duty as Platoon Leader. One of my favorite duties was that of Mess Officer. It was through this duty that I learned to enjoy scallops again. As a kid I got sick one time from eating them so I swore off of them for the rest of my life.
Well, fate has a unique way of getting your attention. This time it was very pleasant. While walking through the company area near noon I could not help but notice the most enticing aroma emanating from the mess hall. Any conscientious leader has to investigate everything that is happening within the olfactory range as well as within sight and hearing. Realizing my duties and responsibilities I forged ahead and entered the mess hall. Upon asking the Mess Sergeant what was the cause of that most marvelous aroma permeating the company area, I was informed that the luncheon special was deep-fried scallops.
Arrgh! I hate them. I cannot abide them. They make me sick. Yuck!!
I then approached the steam table where the first scallops out of the deep-fryer were waiting to be served. They looked as good as they smelled. Now I have a real dilemma. I don't like scallops, but I have a duty to the troops to test them to insure they are edible. After all we don't want the troops coming down with an illness. Scallops can do that you know.
You guessed it, I screwed up my courage. (It only took a couple of twists of the screw driver.) I asked the Mess Sergeant if I might try one. He agreed to get me one. We did have a breakdown in communication. I meant one scallop, he meant one bowl. I tried that "one" and have been eating them ever since. Thanks, Sarge.
By the way, I hope you all know the difference between a fairy tale and a war story.
A fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time."
A war story starts out, "No shit, this really happened."
This really happened, no shytte.
Remind me to tell you sometime about the Supply Sergeant's little Homilies.
Well, fate has a unique way of getting your attention. This time it was very pleasant. While walking through the company area near noon I could not help but notice the most enticing aroma emanating from the mess hall. Any conscientious leader has to investigate everything that is happening within the olfactory range as well as within sight and hearing. Realizing my duties and responsibilities I forged ahead and entered the mess hall. Upon asking the Mess Sergeant what was the cause of that most marvelous aroma permeating the company area, I was informed that the luncheon special was deep-fried scallops.
Arrgh! I hate them. I cannot abide them. They make me sick. Yuck!!
I then approached the steam table where the first scallops out of the deep-fryer were waiting to be served. They looked as good as they smelled. Now I have a real dilemma. I don't like scallops, but I have a duty to the troops to test them to insure they are edible. After all we don't want the troops coming down with an illness. Scallops can do that you know.
You guessed it, I screwed up my courage. (It only took a couple of twists of the screw driver.) I asked the Mess Sergeant if I might try one. He agreed to get me one. We did have a breakdown in communication. I meant one scallop, he meant one bowl. I tried that "one" and have been eating them ever since. Thanks, Sarge.
By the way, I hope you all know the difference between a fairy tale and a war story.
A fairy tale starts out, "Once upon a time."
A war story starts out, "No shit, this really happened."
This really happened, no shytte.
Remind me to tell you sometime about the Supply Sergeant's little Homilies.
Sorbonne Students Rioting
This morning's issue of the Kansas City Star had an interesting editorial by Jonah Goldberg. I don't usually agree with his neocon view of the world, but this one gave me a chuckle. He can be witty. I mean, who can't laugh at the phrase creme de la Brie? You can read the entire article for yourself. He has taken this approach to promote some of the things that American economic leadership has done. One thing he did say that surprised me..."France pretends to be a great civilization, but in reality it wants to be an Epcot Center attraction, a "Franceland" where everything is comfortable and protected. Liberating the job market, even a tiny bit, threatens a system designed to keep the French upper crust from working too hard and to keep those brownskinned and lower-class slobs out of the best jobs and cocktail parties
It surprised me that he would even think of using the term liberating, since he is so very conservative in his views. He does write an amusing article that can give us all a moment to reflect. Enjoy!!
It surprised me that he would even think of using the term liberating, since he is so very conservative in his views. He does write an amusing article that can give us all a moment to reflect. Enjoy!!
Friday, March 10, 2006
THE TALE OF THE WORTHY ROOSTER
Thanks to Alison and Ros for this one. It was too good to delete.
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young (hens) layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought sets of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.
So, now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmers favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this articular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all. John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and proceed to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair, where Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result: The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize", but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making. Who else could figure out howto win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young (hens) layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought sets of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing.
So, now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmers favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this articular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all. John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. BUT, to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and proceed to the next one. John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair, where Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result: The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize", but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Butch was a Politician in the making. Who else could figure out howto win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Farewell Dana Reeve
Dana finished her mission last night. We are all better off for her having been among us. Perhaps one of her missions for this life was to be an inspiration to us all. She served her family with impeccable grace. She showed us all how to serve and do good work. As a result she lived fully. What better legacy can one leave. Her son, Will, has been given the foundation to also do good work.
If ever we needed an example for the effects of smoking, Dana is one. She never smoked, but chose to work in a career that put her in harms way. She was a singer by choice and as such was subject to second hand smoke. It finally caught up with her.
Dana, we will miss you. All our lives are better for your having walked among us. Hopefully, we will all be energized by your example and find whatever small way we can to better serve our compatriots on our trip through this life.
You have truly shown us how to...
Serve well! Live fully! Do good work!
If ever we needed an example for the effects of smoking, Dana is one. She never smoked, but chose to work in a career that put her in harms way. She was a singer by choice and as such was subject to second hand smoke. It finally caught up with her.
Dana, we will miss you. All our lives are better for your having walked among us. Hopefully, we will all be energized by your example and find whatever small way we can to better serve our compatriots on our trip through this life.
You have truly shown us how to...
Serve well! Live fully! Do good work!
Questionnaire
Alison, it took me some time to get back to this. I generally don't do these things. I must admit it was interesting. Thanks for sending it along. For the rest of you who drop by, give it a shot. Just remember to serve well, live fully and do good work.
1: What time is it: 5:10 AM
2:Your Name: John
3: Nickname: Jack
4: Piercing: None
5: What is the most recent movie you've seen in the cinema: I can’t remember
6: Eye color: blue
7: Place of birth: Philadelphia, PA
8: Favorite foods: Pasta dishes, stir fry, salads, Kahlua chocolate cake
9: Ever been to Africa: No
10: Ever been toilet papering: No
11: Love someone so much it made you cry: Yes
12: Been in a car accident: Yes
13: Croutons or bacon bits: Neither
14: Favorite Day of the Week: Every day
15: Favorite restaurants: Clean ones with pleasant ambience
16: Favorite flower: Phlox
17: Favorite sport to watch: KU (U. of Kansas) men’s basketball – Rock Chalk, Jayhawk
18: Favorite drink: Black Russian, single malt scotch, dry wine
19: Favorite ice cream: Mint, chocolate chip
20: Disney or Warner Bros: Neither
21: Favorite fast food restaurant: None
22: What color is your bedroom carpet: Sea mist green, I think
23: How many times did you fail your drivers test: None.
24: Who did you get your last email from: Ros
25: Which stores ( shops) would you choose to max out your credit card: None, maxing out the credit card is not good work.
26: What do you do most often when you are bored: I don't get bored
27: What time do you usually like to go to bed: Half past ten.
28: Who will do this on their blog first: I haven’t the foggiest notion.
29: Who is the person least likely to do this questionnaire: See #28
30: Who are you the most curious about their responses to this Questionnaire: No one.
31: Favorite TV shows: Two and a Half Men, the CSI series, Forensic Files, etc.
32: Who did you last have dinner with: Maryann
33: Ford or Chevy: Honda, Del Sol, VTEC, 1995, Milano Red
34: What are you listening to right now: Absolutely Smooth Jazz on Sky FM
35: What is your Favorite color: Blue
36:How many tattoos do you have: none
37: How many pets do you have: One – Hazel, our healing cat.
38: Which came first the chicken or the egg: Don’t know and don’t care. I have recipes for both.
1: What time is it: 5:10 AM
2:Your Name: John
3: Nickname: Jack
4: Piercing: None
5: What is the most recent movie you've seen in the cinema: I can’t remember
6: Eye color: blue
7: Place of birth: Philadelphia, PA
8: Favorite foods: Pasta dishes, stir fry, salads, Kahlua chocolate cake
9: Ever been to Africa: No
10: Ever been toilet papering: No
11: Love someone so much it made you cry: Yes
12: Been in a car accident: Yes
13: Croutons or bacon bits: Neither
14: Favorite Day of the Week: Every day
15: Favorite restaurants: Clean ones with pleasant ambience
16: Favorite flower: Phlox
17: Favorite sport to watch: KU (U. of Kansas) men’s basketball – Rock Chalk, Jayhawk
18: Favorite drink: Black Russian, single malt scotch, dry wine
19: Favorite ice cream: Mint, chocolate chip
20: Disney or Warner Bros: Neither
21: Favorite fast food restaurant: None
22: What color is your bedroom carpet: Sea mist green, I think
23: How many times did you fail your drivers test: None.
24: Who did you get your last email from: Ros
25: Which stores ( shops) would you choose to max out your credit card: None, maxing out the credit card is not good work.
26: What do you do most often when you are bored: I don't get bored
27: What time do you usually like to go to bed: Half past ten.
28: Who will do this on their blog first: I haven’t the foggiest notion.
29: Who is the person least likely to do this questionnaire: See #28
30: Who are you the most curious about their responses to this Questionnaire: No one.
31: Favorite TV shows: Two and a Half Men, the CSI series, Forensic Files, etc.
32: Who did you last have dinner with: Maryann
33: Ford or Chevy: Honda, Del Sol, VTEC, 1995, Milano Red
34: What are you listening to right now: Absolutely Smooth Jazz on Sky FM
35: What is your Favorite color: Blue
36:How many tattoos do you have: none
37: How many pets do you have: One – Hazel, our healing cat.
38: Which came first the chicken or the egg: Don’t know and don’t care. I have recipes for both.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Another Step on the Path to self-knowledge
I know you all are fascinated about these little quizzes that lead to self-enlightenment. With that in mind I invite you to go to this site and assess your brilliance. How Smart Are You?
While I am not now, nor ever have been, a member of Mensa, I believe that 10 out of 11 is a reasonable score. I would have scored 11 out of 11 correct had I taken more time to read the statements. I violated the primary test taking rule I try to encourage my students to follow: Read the question carefully!!! With admonition there is no reason why you all cannot surpass my measly score.
Good luck.
While I am not now, nor ever have been, a member of Mensa, I believe that 10 out of 11 is a reasonable score. I would have scored 11 out of 11 correct had I taken more time to read the statements. I violated the primary test taking rule I try to encourage my students to follow: Read the question carefully!!! With admonition there is no reason why you all cannot surpass my measly score.
Good luck.
Friday, March 03, 2006
My Number is 43, what is yours?
Alison recently sent me a powerpoint presentation of a personality test that is used by many corporations and Dr. Phil. I had seen it before, but had lost it. It is a very intersting test. I wanted to send it to a lot of folks, but not everyone has powerpoint. So I decided to try sharing it this way. I took it and obtained a score of 43.
Dr. Phil's Personality Test If you like, check it out and then come back here and leave a comment with your score.
Over the years I have made it a rule to take as many personal assessment instruments that I can. It started in graduate school in a class on individual assessment. We had to develop a case study on ourselves. It was one of the best courses I took. To this day I can't pass an assessment by without giving it a try.
Enjoy life!
Dr. Phil's Personality Test If you like, check it out and then come back here and leave a comment with your score.
Over the years I have made it a rule to take as many personal assessment instruments that I can. It started in graduate school in a class on individual assessment. We had to develop a case study on ourselves. It was one of the best courses I took. To this day I can't pass an assessment by without giving it a try.
Enjoy life!
Thursday, March 02, 2006
A Proud Father's Boast
Our oldest daughter, who lives in the LA area has gotten herself published. For a variety of reasons that are more complicated than I care to delve into, she is using a pseudonym. Be that as it may, she has written a marvelous piece about romantic bars in the LA area. I invite you to visit her article and then, should the notion strike you, visit the bars. But, be forewarned about their aphrodisiacal qualities. Heed her advice, take only that special person with you.
The next time her mother and I visit her we just may have to visit one or more of them.
Enjoy life!
The next time her mother and I visit her we just may have to visit one or more of them.
Enjoy life!
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