The Old Bastards Club

This is a poem written by the son of one of the members of the Old Bastards Club. We are a group of retired military guys who meet on Friday mornings to drink coffee, eat freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and swap lies and war stories.

It was read to the group this morning. The applause was thunderous. So read, and enjoy! We did.

The Old Bastard Club
by Chuck Allen, Jr.

How old do you have to be before you can wear an "Old Bastards Club" hat?

Do you have to use a cane or simply be bald and fat?

Do you have to cuss and smoke an old stinking stogie?

Or can you simply argue like an old farting fogy?

Once you have all your opinions firmly stuck and mastered

The and only then can you declare yourself an old happy bastard.

Thre are clubs a man can join to simply get himself plastered.

But there is no club that is so sweet as a group of happy bastards.