As usual, took two days to get to Maryann's niece's home in Pennsylvania. We came in to spend Mother's day with Maryann's mother, Margaret. In June I will go to El Paso to spend some time with my mother, Jane.
Margaret is residing in a nursing home. Unfortunately, she can no longer care for herself. One of the most devastating things to witness is the onset of dementia. Margaret doesn't always recognize us, but has been able to remember who we are most of the time we are with her. Her mobility is also limited, but with the wheel chair she is able to get around the floor. It is amazing to watch her and the other residents moving around. They are quite good about not running into each other or tipping over.
The weather was sunny enough last Thursday that we could take out onto the grounds for some fresh Spring air. She was able to comment about the plants and how well the grounds were being kept. She still wonders where her late husband is. We have learned to deflect that question by saying we haven't seen him lately. Usually, once she has asked the question, her mind goes onto something else. It is not in her best interest to remind him that he died more than 20 years ago. To do so would be quite cruel. She would begin grieving all over again.
In spite of her mental and physical condition, Margaret maintains her wonderful sense of humor and her ready smile. I have come to know and love her as much as my own mother. It saddens me to see her in her present condition. I relish the times we did have together where she would share stories about her life on the farm and how she could drive a combine. You have to realize she is just about 5'3". She has worked all of her life, even as a child. She married young and raised two daughters. Next week she will celebrate her 96th birthday. While she told me once she won't live forever, I believe she is definitely in it for the long haul.
Margaret, I love you and wish you the best even though you will never see this.
6 comments:
oh jack....
my grandmother lived to be in her late 70's, and suffered thru every bad thing you can imagine with Alzheimer's disease.
she would have these lucid moments of complete peace and tranquility where she'd think she was somewhere in 1940 or so. We'd drive her down the road and she'd see things no longer there, even stick her head out and shout to people long vanished... utterly TERRIFYING yet amazing at the same time.
oh how our minds work for and against us.... such sweet sorrows.
you honor both your mom and your adopted one. by writing about them, talking about them, sharing their stories and more you've accomplished their unsaid goal: it's now your turn to tell the stories, share the knowledge and pass on what you know to all who can listen, read, or somehow be touched by your soul.
yeah. basically you rock.
hugs from wayyy over here in the pacific northwest. if you ever come over to visit shanny, you are SOOO coming up to see me.
safe travels.
B
♥Jack and Maryann♥
Your post brought *tears* to my eyes.
Margaret and Jane are so lucky to have the two of you and vice versa.
Have a {safe} journey.
It's so amazing to realize how you have to actually deflect questions so she won't go through the grieving process again. Oh my God. If there is a hell, that would be it.
Bless you and have a safe trip.
many happy returns of the day to margaret. she sounds like a grand person.
Thank you all for your kind words. Tomorrow we will be returning to Kansas. It will take two days. We are looking forward to sleeping in our own bed again.
With a little bit of luck the new fence will be installed and they can then begin to put in the plantings. Pictures will follow in Flickr. I'll let you all know.
I will also be glad to get back to more reliable internet access. There are a number of postings I must make. ttfn
Dad- some of my fondest memories of Grandma are when she would tell me stories about Grandpa, after he passed away. I miss her at times, but then I'm sure she does too.
I hope you gave her a kiss from me. And when you go to Grandma Sam's, you kiss her for me as well.
I'll chat with you two this weekend. Love you.
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